9/27/11-10/11/11- The NICU

I kind of wish I had written a journal every day Ethan was in the NICU, but I just wasn't thinking about that in the begining. I could barely function without crying. I would wake up crying and go to bed crying. It's just this uneasiness that overwhelms you the entire time your baby is not with you. I got discharged on Friday, Sept 30th. This was the hardest day ever! We went home and our angel had to stay. The hardest thing I've ever done. All I did was worry. Patrick and I would get to the NICU in the mornings around 10am and leave that night around 10pm. We did this for 2 weeks. The best way I can describe the NICU is an emotional roller coaster. You never knew what you were going to walk in to in the morning or what news you were going to get when you called later that night before you went to sleep. All I can say is I'll be so glad when this roller coaster is over! I don't know how some people do this for months and months. I couldn't even imagine. We are getting closer and closer to going home. Hopefully it will be tomorrow (10/11) or Wednesday (10/12)! We can't wait!!!!!

Ethans Issues:

Week 1: Ethan swallowed fluid when he was born and the fluid got infected. He was on antibiotics for 7 days. After 7 days the infection got better. Ethan was also breathing really heavy and fast because of the fluid too. He had to take his feedings through a tube down his throat because he was breathing so fast. He also needed some oxygen for the first week.

Week 2: The infection had cleared up and his breathing was slowing down. We were finally able to start bottle/breast feeding him the 8th day. We started out slow and just did 2 a day. The entire 2nd week Ethan's oxygen levels would stay about 92-100% while he was awake and then drop to 85-89% when he was in a deep sleep. On day 8, 9 and 10 at about 10:00pm he would start dropping. We couldn't tell if it was just a transitional thing from the pneumonia or if something else was going on. So we decided to do a sleep study one night. I'm hoping they will do that tonight and nothing will be wrong so we can take the little man home!

September 27,2011-Ethan Thomas Alsup

September 27, 2011 was the day my sweet little boy was born. It was a scheduled c-section for 1:00pm. I was so nervous the night before. I'm pretty sure I didn't sleep at all. Once we got to the hospital I seemed to relax a little. I kept reminding myself I was about to see this little face I had been waiting 10 months to see. The actual surgery went very well. It was qucik and pain free for the most part. I did get pretty scared when Dr. Holladay held him up and I heard him cry for the first time. You could tell he had some fluid in his throat/lungs. I could hear them sucking out the fluid with the suction thing and his cry got a little better. I also remember hearing them say, "Wow that's a lot of fluid". Which freaked me out a little bit. Patrick was by my side the entire time unitl Ethan was born. Once Ethan was born Patrick stayed with him the enire time. He walked with the nurses/doctor's out to the nursery to weigh him, get his vitals,etc... He later told me he was really nervous because Ethan was breathing really fast and he had gotten a lot of fluid in his lungs. I remember the c-section being over really quickly and then going into the recovery room for about 2-3 hours. The nurse then wheeled me past the nursery where I saw all of our family. I bet there were 15 or more people in the waiting room. I waved as they wheeled me by and just remember feeling so loved. I was a little out of it the rest of the night but I do remember having Ethan on my mind the entire time. I couldn't wait to hold him! I kept hoping someone would bring him in, but I didn't get to see Ethan until later that first night because he was having all kinds of breathing problems. Holding Ethan for the first time was one of the best moments of my life. Even though he was a big baby (10lbs 15 ounces)he was my little baby boy! I couldn't get over how cute he was! I think he looks like me :-) I don't think I realized at this moment that he was as sick as he was. I don't think I really thought about it at all. I was just overwhelmed with happienss and joy that this little boy was all mine! I had no idea this was just the beginning of our 2 weeks in the NICU.

One of the BEST Days of my life!!!!!!

Well it has been almost a year since I've written on this thing! Talk about slack!! I really forgot I had this until some of my best friends reminded me =)So this might be a long post! There have been so many exciting things going on in our lives this year! I found out in January that Patrick and I are going to have a baby! Patrick and I had tried for about 7 months to get pregnant and I was starting to get worried that maybe something was wrong with one of us. ( of course I figured it was me since I have all the issues anyway) hahaha!! The day I went to the GYNO and talked with him about being infertile was the day we conceived our sweet little baby! Crazy huh? The morning I took the test I was very calm. I figured it would say NOT PREGNANT and then we would just keep trying. Like every other month. Well, Pat was still asleep and I got up to take the test. I couldn't believe it. It said PREGNANT. My heart started racing and my hands were shaking! I was so shocked, but so so happy! I ran in the bedroom and said, "Pat, wake up!!" " I took a test and it said I'm PREGNANT!" He said, " Take another one!!!" HAHAHAHHA!!! Really? So I took another one! LOL!!! It said PREGNANT too!! After it sank in that I was actually pregnant I just cried for a little bit! I thanked God for my precious gift. Not every woman can have children and I thought I might be one of them until this morning! I was so relieved to find out otherwise! I've accomplished a lot in my life that I'm proud of, I finished Pharmacy school, got a great a job, married the love of my life, but my all time dream of being a mommy was about to come true! The one thing I've always dreamed about and wanted more than anything in the world. There's nothing more precious in this world than a wonderful mommy and I can't wait to be one! I can be a great mommy to this little boy the way my mom was to me and my brother's. I can hardly wait for October 2nd! I remember starting to worry about month 3 or 4 that something might be wrong with Pat or I and right when I found out I was pregnant I remember thinking Phew... now that I'm finally pregnant all my worrying can stop! HA! That's funny! Now I just have other things to worry about! Like having a miscarriage, eating the right things, the list goes on and on! I've realized to just leave it all up to God! If not, I would worry my life away! God has truly blessed Patrick and I with the best gift I could ever ask for and I will be forever thankful! The day I found out I was pregnant was one of the best days of my life! ( along with marrying my baby's daddy =))

My Precious New Niece

Ava Lou Alsup was born August 12, 2010 at 3:32pm. She weighed 7lbs 14 oz. She is the most beautiful baby I have ever seen! I was at the beach when Matt called and said they were on the way to the hospital. So I rushed home and made it to the hospital a little after 1:30pm. April is such a trooper! I really think she was born to give birth! She has beautiful baby girls and looks good while doing it! Here's a picture of my precious niece, Ava! I love you Ava! I can't wait to babysit you and Alexa!! DOUBLE TROUBLE!

One of my Favorite Quotes

When I read this quote by Mother Teresa it really made me think. I think it's one of the best quotes I've ever read. I immediately thought of my mom and I know she would want me to live my life this way! Enjoy!

People are often unreasonable and self centered.

Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives.

Be kind anyway.

If you are honest people may cheat you.

Be honest anyway.

If you find happiness, people may be jealous.

Be happy anyway.

The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow.

Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough.

Give your best anyway.

For you see, in the end, it is between you and God.

It never was between you and them anyway.

-Mother Teresa

Carolina/Clemson Game 2009

Patrick and I were so excited we were both off work and able to go to the USC game last weekend. All three of my best friends from Pharmacy school were there. Nancy flew in from Philadelphia, Becky from Tampa, and Stacey lives here! We got to our tailgate at 8:00am! VERY EARLY!! We drank, ate, and talked the whole day! Oh yeah, and we watched the game! HAHA!! It was so nice for us all to be together again. Considering we used to see each other every day, pretty much all day long! Stacey, her husband, and all of her friends we were tailgating with are Clemson fans, so it was really nice to pull off a WIN too so we could rub it in really well! Can't wait to see my best friends again! Love you girls!! 

Family Trip to Disney World

This was my first trip to Disney World! I soon realized why my dad never took my three brothers and I. Everything is so expensive! It was no less than $10 per person every time Pat and I ate. I had to realize that's just the way it is, so I wouldn'tfreak out about it every time we ate. As soon as I got over that I had the best time of my life! We went as a surprise as it was my brother-in-law's birthday.He had no clue we were coming and we surprised him at breakfast. Patrick and I were really excited to be there with everyone and especially Alexa. We hadn't seen her in a couple weeks and now we were able to spend 5 whole days with her! We went to four of the parks. Epcot, MGM (Hollywood Studios), Animal Kingdom, and The Magical Kingdom. We did a park a day. It was soo much fun! We rode just about everything! My favorite rides were the Aerosmith in-door roller coaster, and the Tower of Terror. The rides are so amazing and well put together. I love all the animation and the story lines. The food at Disney was very good too. One night we ate at a German restaurant in Epcot which was really good! All in all we had an amazing time with our family. We can't wait to go again! Maybe one day when we have kids! =)